The Asylum of an Empath

To: Kristen Barrows

From: Kayden de Lumiere

Subject: Re

My dearest one. You have my most sincerest apologies for my vagueness in the recent events. It is not my intention to inflict pain on you in any manner. I find myself having to block off any bond that I hold. This is not towards you, but to Marcus. I do not wish him to know my whereabouts as of yet. 

I will be joining you soon in Bavaria, until then hold on to the phone for me.  When I arrive, I promise that I will explain to you what has driven me away and my true reasoning behind withholding our bond.  There is no need to beg, my dearest. All will be explained in due time. I do this for your safety as well as my own, please know this.

Tides are changing and I do not know where the road will take us. I am looking forward to meeting your friend that you have spoken of before and again now.  Until then please say safe and know that I am thinking of you and missing you just the same; even if I cannot express it. ~Kayden

News from the UK

There comes a time in one’s life –or undeath in my case- when things are put into perspective. Things in your past and present do not make any sense and all that you are left with is that lingering doubt that something is amiss. Ever since my meetings with Chauncey, Kristen and Elena, something has been off.

I have this guttural instinct that I am constantly under watch, that every move that I have made here has been taken note of. Since this feeling has started, I have taken on two new members of staff. Out of the blue, Richard and his mate came to the castle in search of a job. I was able to catch a glimpse of a reading on them. They were genuine in their search for employment. Both are very old and I have taken quite a liking to them; each for their own temperaments and skills. I believe that they will be a perfect fit in my staff.

Narrisa reminds me much of Chauncey in ways. She has a keen eye for detail and she dotes on me hand and foot. I find myself having to get used to this. Even Chauncey knows when to give me my own space. She does not speak much around me, but when she does it is something to pay attention to. She has seen much in her undeath. She reminds me of a character in a story that I heard as a child.

Richard is indescribable in ways. His training techniques are harsh, but effective. Even the daytime security staff has begun to stay late to partake in evening training sessions. There is one drawback to the situation. The security staff is taking a severe beating in this new form of training Richard has provided. Their bodies are not holding up to the abuse that he dishes out. One could say that it is a true test of ‘survival of the fittest.’

I do not know what brought Richard and Narrisa to my door, but in ways I am grateful for their appearance. Perhaps as time goes on, the story of their time in undeath will be shared. Until then, I will leave it be. There are reasons they have come when they have. I am a strong believer in that.

~K

Randomness and Musings

Business has taken me away from many things much of the past month. I have been buried under piles of paperwork for my latest resort in Capetown, South Africa. It opens just a few months and already it is booked solid; more so than the hotel in Paris. I am quite excited of its success, despite its not being open yet. One can only assume that it is the climate and the exotics that add to its appeal.

I have taken on a new member of my nighttime staff while here in England. His background is clouded in mystery, yet his skills in security and as a guard is unsurpassed. I simply call him Richard, but I know that is not his real name. His past is well hidden within his mind and emotions. I dare not to read him any further than I have, lest I find myself in a bad situation. He is good at what he does. That is all that matters. He has whipped the daytime guards into as well. *chuckles* I am quite impressed.

What little time that I have had for myself, have been spent getting to know my new home in England. The longer that I am here, the more that I consider this a place that I could find myself staying extended periods of time. I have found myself feeling like a Gypsy these recent months; never staying in one place for very long.  I long for something steady for a change, but until the resort is complete, the life of a Gypsy is what I will be living.

I look at Chauncey, giving me the “demon” eye. He is worried that I will work myself into a second death. *laughs softly* I do not have to read him to know what goes through his mind. One of these nights I look for him to pull the MMDD card. *smirks*  

I am missing Kristen. In these recent weeks, I have not gotten to see her. I must rectify that soon. Very soon. I believe that a surprise of a moonlit ride should suffice. Plus, there is testing how the new horses take to their new surroundings. My stable staff have reported that they are fitting well with Dante and Delilah quite lovely.

It seems that I never have time for myself anymore. Briefly, I was lost in the moment of going for a ride. Richard tells me that it is time for my next meeting of the evening. I fear that it is going to be a long night of boring meetings. *growls*

Until next time.

The Journey Home

I have spent the last few days at ‘Home’ in the caves of Slovenia. While I was there originally to purchase new horses for the Castle in England, I found myself yearning to go home at the anniversary of my changing. It was a fleeting feeling that I felt to act on. I knew I would be there alone and that was okay. 

The call to the attendant was one filled with uncertainty. His pleasantry was self assuring when he said that he would be more than happy to prepare for my arrival. This I was definitely glad for, as sunrise was only in a few short hours. I would have hated to have to go to ground. *laughs softly*

I think that Chauncey was quite angry at the fact that I was going alone. It is something that he will have to learn to accept when making such trips as these. It is a place of secrets and while I trust Chauncey, this is one secret that I cannot and will not share with him. I made a promise that all secrets of the caves would stay with me and I intend on keeping those secrets; even from my most trusted. 

Upon my arrival, I immediately felt the pull of the day. I took my small overnight bag and made my way to the Queen’s suite and died for the day. I would save my reminiscing until after my business was concluded. If I chose to do so, that is. 

After sunset the following day, I met with the stable owner where Charles purchased my Dante the Christmas before. It was astounding that he remembered me and my last visit. What was even more surprising was that I was treated with the same respect as if he had known me a very long time and not only having meeting me once before. I picked out the ones that I wished and concluded my business with him. I am certain that should I need another horse, he will be glad to oblige. The would arrive at the English castle in a month. 

I have been spoiled of the Lipizzaner breed. Magnificent creatures. Regal and majestic in their own right. I fear that I am missing Praetor after this visit to the stables and Dante, even more so. Climbing into the limo, I called the stables at Mom’s NOLA estate to arrange for Dante and Delilah to be transported to England. I needed my two hearts there. 

I had the driver take us to the Lipica Estate to start, only to catch a passing glance. I smiled at the remembrance of my first hunt and the nights thereafter, spent right after my change. My first lesson of hunting was extremely exhilarating and intoxicating. The company that shared the experience with me will never be forgotten that is for certain. It is unknown if our paths will ever cross again, but if they should not it is my hope that they know my gratitude for teaching a newborn the ways.

Closing that chapter of my undeath, I waved the driver on to return us to the caves. I settled into the seat and let me thoughts drift to different things. Family, friends, the past, the future. In just the year into my change I realized exactly how much things had changed; how much I had changed. When I was human, I was insecure and unsure of anything. As a vampire, I became confident and sure of myself. I survived things that I never thought imaginable and it made me stronger. I still had my moments of doubts and fear, but those are normal reactions of a newborn. In time those emotions would fade; just as painful memories and experiences would.

The car slowed and stopped at the entrance to the caves. I leaned in to tell the driver to meet me at sunset on Sunday night for my return to England and left the car. Waiting until the car was fully out of view, I made my way into the caves. I retraced each step of my first visit here, stopping at each of the secrets that were shared with me. Each step further into the caves taking a brick away from my shields as I delved deeper.

I spent that night traveling down memory lane, fondly. Before retiring for the night, I indulged in a meal much like the one the first meal I had the night I was changed. Sitting on the edge of the Queen’s suite bed, I brought out a small lock box and took the key from my bag and opened it. I placed both rings inside; his and mine. I took out a letter written on fine parchment, sealed with my family seal and placed it on top. Locking it back, I called for the attendant and gave him the box. I made a simple request to him; to place the box in a safe place. I did not wish to know of its whereabouts, only that is was safe. The box would be my place of keeping things of personal value safe. I knew that in the caves, where only very few knew of its location, they would be safe.

Falling to my death shortly after, I found solace in my dreams. I rested peacefully, for once in several months. Things were different now, my mind and heart were finally clear of the emotional baggage that I had held onto over the past year.

Upon waking that night, I gathered my things; leaving the key well hidden in the room before taking my leave from it. On my way out, I said my farewells to the attendant and told him that I would return next year at this time, if not before. After this trip, I was unsure as to when I would return before the anniversary. If at all before then. We parted and without looking back, I made my return to England.  

English Retreat…

The title of this could have several meanings. Vacation. Flight to safer ground. In my case it is the latter. After last nights encounter with @QueenMarguerite I knew that it was time to get some space between her and I. What a perfect time for my newest real estate purchase to be complete…

I read her like an open book. She wants me. She wants my gift. Even when her demeanor shifted after I stood my ground, it was still the same. The insatiable greed and opportunistic light shined in her cold, dead eyes. While her voice was calm and calculated, her lust for acquiring power told me everything I needed to know. I will not let my gift be exploited. I would rather meet second death than to do so.

I lied to her. I told her that my gift was still only based in my voice while singing. I had to protect myself. Protect my gift. If I have learned anything in the -almost year- change, it is protect my gift at all costs.  I almost slipped last night, when my anger got the best of me. My anger was masking my fright, I know this now after waking from my death rest.

I have to think of a way to protect myself. I know that there has to be a way to do so. I will converse with Kristen and Chauncey later and get their insight on this plight that I face. Kristen has a brilliant mind; ‘tis one of the many reasons I hired her in the first place. Chauncey has always protected me, even as a child. Between the three of us, I am sure that something can be thought of. If that fails, I have a few other options. My parents or one last resort. If I have to call on the last resort, then I know that all other options have been extinguished.

For now, I will stay in the safety of this castle and its grounds. No one knows of it’s purchase other than those involved in the sale. Even the humans that I purchased it from, knows not the buyers name. @EnigmaticElena was very thorough to ensure that the sale was done anonymously. Even the Queen does not know of the location, only that I had business to attend to in England and South Africa.

Musings of an Empath

So much has happened in this journey of undeath. I have traveled to amazing places, met new and interesting people. Found the path that lead me to where I am at this point in time, gazing out into the night sky of Paris. I am stronger and more in control of my gift than ever. Some might call it a curse, but to me it is not. It is a part of me and I accept it.

In just under a year, I have become a successful business woman; well vampire, if you want to get technical. I have a family that accepts me, my flaws and my short comings. I have made friends that I know will stand the test of time, or until my final death. Learning more about yourself in one year, it is surely a shock to the system, but one I have welcomed with arms wide open. I had help, along the way, of learning about who I truly am.

I sit here, surrounded by paperwork. *FANGS* Why I decided to open a Hotel or ten, is beyond me. *laughs* I guess you could call it, my undying focus to be successful. I am not the scared and secluded human that I was a year ago. I am confident, strong, and graceful. I guess you could say that being a vampire, truly does agree with me.

My decision was not made in haste. The devastating news of my parents accident was enough to break me down, sure. Ultimately, it was love and acceptance that lead me to that decision. That love is something that I will take with me through my many lifetimes. Without learning to open my heart and let my concrete and steel walls down, I would have never realized my true potential.

I sit here wondering what my real parents were like. I know I should not dwell, but finding out that you were adopted as a human is bound to stir those questions; in anyone’s mind.

I must not dwell. I need to find something to shake this feeling away. I could feed or shop. *grins wickedly* I believe that I will do both. I have just the shopping meal. *grins waving to Chauncey to bring out my favorite donor of the red head variety*

I was always a sucker for the red heads. *smirks*

Midnight Musings

*opening up my leather bound journal to write, having not done so in some time*

Looking at the clock, I see that it is just after 8pm in Louisiana, but well after 2 am here in Paris. The wet, chilly, Parisian night has me aching to visit some place less… wet. Nights of endless rain and more to come, it seems. I miss Louisiana. More than I let on to believe. So many memories. Some good, some not-so good. My family is there. There is nothing really holding me here in Europe… except, I feel as though I should be here. That there is something that I need to do while I am here. 

I keep thinking about the night that @SheriffNorthman and @BarmaidSookie came to visit my Shreveport Manor. She truly is a enigma to me; the first human that I have not been able to influence with my gift. She has peaked my interest, that is for certain. Call it a cruel sense -to myself of course- of curiosity. I recollect her excitement to know that I was raised, as a human, by fae parents. They were not my real parents, but parents non-the-less. This, too, caused my curiosity to increase. 

Her nervousness was extremely… cute. *laughs at my terminology* It amused me, but I kept that to myself. I did not wish to make her anymore uncomfortable than she already was. I believe that by the near-end of the night, she was more than comfortable… except for one key instance. I knew she was hiding something. I might not be able to influence her with my empathic gift, but I can read her. Exceptionally well, if I might add. 

It was mentioned to her if she had ever read a vampire’s mind. *smirks thinking back to her response to the question* At that point, I thought it best not to read anymore than I simply must. Still, the dodging and the avoidance of the question, told me everything that I needed to know. A secret that I will take with me in my undeath. I wish nothing to ever happen to my interesting, human friend.

Even in my short time into being vampire, I know that inside our mind is sacred. I’ve seen glimpses of the past, those that know our inner most secrets -most likely- end up no more. 

Shifting gears, I have been thinking about something that Eric had said to me about being a Maker one day… I have no interest in being a maker. None. I think you could call it… my “touchy” subject. I know that I have plenty of time to change my mind, but one thing you will find about me… once I put my mind to something, I do not yield. I have no doubts that I would be a good maker, but I have no interest in it. I have all that I need in my undeath. I need nothing else to make me complete. 

I must send Sookie and Eric a handwritten thank you, for the wonderful night spent before returning to Paris. It was something I definitely needed before returning to work. The South African resort is almost complete and I am soon to go to England. I have found a place there that I simply must have. I also need to arrange for a new holding company to work on the day to day operations of the vineyards. That is a project that I have been holding off on completing. I will never sell it, as it has been in my family for many generations… and it is the last thing that I have of Jacques and Christine. 

*capping the pen and closing the journal, placing it into my safe and retreating to the glass doors, gazing out into the lights of the dreary, wet night, thoughts drifting to many different things*